3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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