what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
