You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
