Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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