I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
