If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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