I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
