About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
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