508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
