I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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