I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
