Plan B is the new Plan A
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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