Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
