dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
