Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
