She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
