I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
