Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
