Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
