Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
