For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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