How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
