He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
