I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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