Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Randomize
