Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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