just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
