M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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