just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
