and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
