I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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