don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
