I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
