I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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