just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
