u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
