oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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