how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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