Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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