Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
