like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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