I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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