last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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