Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
And then he peed in my hair
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