My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
