yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
