So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
