He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
