She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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