i was born a porn star she said
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
